My Mum already had 5 children, times were hard and she really did not need another mouth to feed. She decided to go to a clinic to find out about sterilization. Having more children was simply not an option.

On the day she went to initiate the process, a compulsory urine sample revealed that she was pregnant.  The scan showed that I had been hiding in her belly for 3 months already and she did not know. She had absolutely no signs like she had with my siblings and was still in bloom every month!  I am sure her heart must’ve just sunk into her shoes.

I will never know how despondent she must have felt going back to work that afternoon.  If I can guess, I think it was with a heavy heart. At 3 months pregnant, there were no options. It seems I was determined to be born and very determined that she was to be my mother !  I am still sorry that I sneaked myself in like that, but I was right to choose her because she was the best mother I could have asked for.

I probably would still have been born – to someone else, but I’m glad I was born to her. She was brave, my hero in every way and she loved me with all her heart. She was a wise women who hid her feelings well, and in all things, always a lady. She had a quiet wisdom that would find words only if asked for it. It is her insights I apply in my life and in my writing. She was my ROSE, hand-picked in a garden full of the most beautiful roses, yet she was the one I chose.

If my mum had the opportunity to abort me, I do not think she would have taken the option. I say that because I got to know her well. Her faith in God sustained her in the many ordeals she had to face and conquer, each time victoriously. And the wisdom she had was given to few.

The life she gave to me has to count. I had to be here for many reasons, but most of all, my life has to stand for something, to have purpose. If I can somehow make a difference to at least one other person, I hope that person is you, the reader.

There may come a time when you do not want or even like your mum, but be sure to always love her and treat her kindly. When you are older you will realise that you chose her as your mother for a reason. She is teaching you the most important lessons you have to learn, yes, even those you don’t think you need. Always trust her judgement and instead of spending time with your  internet parent, make time for your real mum. Ask her about her childhood and find a common ground to bond with her. She was also a teenager once.

Faithfully your friend,


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