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ASPIRATIONS

When you were growing up, did you stomp around the house in your Mom’s high heels?

Did you put tissues or oranges in your dress?

I think most girls do that because of our inborn instincts – that we were created for something quite magnificent. Girls become aware at a young age that our destination is to have a family of our own one day. We game-play from a young age with dolls, pushing them in a stroller, changing their nappies and bathing them. If the doll needs feeding, we improvise with oranges or tissues – so our plastic “babies” will stop crying. Every girl child emulates others of the same gender. We watch them closely to see what they do and copy that. The way we spoke to our dolls, was copied from absorbing the actions of adult females with babies.

Baby books – If you observe new parents, they are constantly pre-occupied with the comfort of their first-born. They do everything by the book (and hundreds of books on how to care for a baby, line the bookshelves). As we grow up, fewer books on “How to raise a growing child” line the bookshelves.

Teen Books – By the time we get to adolescence, our parents have long stopped buying “How to” books to try and appease us. This is the time we really get to know our parents (and how intolerant and unsympathetic they can be).

As confusing as the teenage years may become, it is also a time where we get to know ourselves. Because of the hormonal activities playing a major role during these years of puberty, we move from one confusing attitude to the next. We forgot how pleasant it was walking with our plastic doll and pretending we were grown up. Life becomes much more complicated.

If I asked you to go back to the age when oranges represented boobs and high heels represented adulthood, what were your dreams back then? What were your aspirations of “When I grow up….”

As a teenager now, has any part of your “younger self” survived? Have you stopped copying the actions of others in order for your authentic self to grow? Are you following your original path to fulfil the list of aspirations you held so dear when you were younger?

Do some soul searching to determine how far you might have walked away from your own dreams, in favour of copying or following others – and what are the reasons. It is never too late to re-write your future plans based on your authentic self. All you have to do is to go back (in your mind’s eye) and relive those years when you wanted to be grown up and have boobs. Why did you want to grow up so fast, to become what? You had some amazing visions of being someone right? Write those dreams down today. This will become your compass for a bright and beautiful future.

It will help you judge yourself (fairly) on a daily basis, whether you are living towards your own authentic dreams – or are you living out the dreams of others. Make that choice today and always remember the oranges. Those were the most magic moments in our lives.

Faithfully your friend,

Thandi

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