TO CELEBRATE WOMAN’S DAY.

 

LET ME CHALLENGE YOU TO THE CALL OF DUTY. Becoming a woman we must first learn how NOT to be gullible. This is how we can take charge of some aspects. Challenges are there each day – our job is to think rationally about everything and become street wise.

THE EGO. This is our primary instinct as teenagers. It makes us gullible. If someone says to you “You are perfect, you should become a photographic model, I can help you” do not let it go to your head. If you are that photogenic, go to a legally recognized photo studio and get a portfolio registered with them. You do not want to trust anyone especially as your face might end up on a porn site. Watch out for the ego. We love people telling us nice things but the ego is responsible for a lot of trouble we get into. Don’t allow people to smear honey around your mouth because they want to use you.

DESPERATION. Do not appear to be desperate FOR ANYTHING! If people think you are desperate for a job, they might lead you into prostitution, become a drug mule or involve you in criminal activities. Being desperate for a certain guy leaves you open for manipulation and abuse by the guy.

DIGNITY – Value your dignity over “popularity” and promise to uphold the dignity of other girls. If someone is treated without dignity or blatantly disrespected or abused in any way, stand together with one strong voice. Until we, as females, learn to do this, the world will remain fragmented.

WARNING. Warn each other if you can clearly see them walking into a trap. If a girl is walking into trouble and you can see it clearly, stop them and reason with them. If they are hell bent on destroying themselves make it clear that you will have to walk away, albeit with a heavy heart.

KNOWLEDGE. To share helpful knowledge with each other. Even if some girls say “Oh, I know that” does not mean that all girls “know that.” Help to stop ignorance among the innocent and teach them what you know, what you heard, what you saw, what you read. Make sure that the knowledge you share has value and meaning – NEVER PASS ON FALSE OR MISLEADING INFORMATION. If you are inclined to sprout ignorance, rather ask questions and learn.

TOLERANCE. It does not mean you have to like everyone but you certainly have to care for everyone. You never know when the person you despise may save your life. Do not be arrogant when you should be tolerant. It brings division for no reason and it stops you from being fair, truthful and honest. Never blame someone just because you don’t like them. Life has a way of using that against you in the future and your life will turn to mud. Tolerance is an attitude we need to practice daily. Not everyone is likable and some people do not like you. This is something we all have to work on every single day, not once a year on Woman’s Day.

Remember, we do not distinguish between races, cultures or even your attitude. If you are a girl, I am sharing things with you. Do not isolate yourself from knowledge because of attitude. If you do not like some people because they are purple, suck it up – it is the world in which we live. It is not all about you or me, it is about US and the fact that, as girls, we need to unite to protect each other.  This is how we will win over those who want to use us.

Faithfully your friend,

Thandi

The Danger Of The Single Story

This is a long video but worth every minute, click on the purple button below.

Never judge someone because of their race or where they come from. Don’t narrow them down to suit your narrow perception, and don’t narrow yourself down because you have been influenced by others.

Our lives, our cultures, our likes and dislikes are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice — and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding.

Now, more than ever in our country, black and white, Indian and colored people need to stand together – to rise up with one voice and with one motive only TO SEE OUR COUNTRY FLOURISH, TO CREATE JOBS, TO STOP POVERTY BY STOPPING CORRUPTION, TO STOP THE CULTURE OF SHAME, TO BECOME WHAT WE KNOW WE CAN AND SHOULD BECOME AND TO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER – UNITED AS A NATION.

Faithfully your friend,

Thandi

 

Get to know the story from your own perspective and experience. This is a long video but worth every minute, click on the purple button below.

 

 

 

 

 

THE EVILS OF BULLYING

A page you need to visit (link below)

Bullying has one desired outcome, and that is to gain power over someone or to manipulate their self-esteem. Captivating someone’s thoughts in victim mode to ensure they stay negative will not make your light shine brighter. If anything, what you sow you will also reap further down the line. Remember this. If your life or marriage one day turns into misery, do not ask why. The answer is that you did not fix your ways when you were younger. No good can come from killing someone else’s spirit – it will come back to you at a time you least expect it. But here’s the thing……………..It always comes back to you many times worse!

I read this somewhere; “They’ll hate you if you’re pretty, They’ll hate you if you’re not. They’ll hate you for what you lack, They’ll hate you for what you’ve got.”   

Going to school is like going to war for millions of teens and children. Every day they expect the worst. Being a girl is not easy because you are always challenged with “So, what are you going to do about it, being a girl?!” Girls need to unite and be buddies, not bullies. People who bully others usually have insecurities and low self-esteem. Try and see them for what they are and tell them straight “Pulling me down will never help you get to the top.”

Many children commit suicide as a result of this evil.

Your life isn’t a film, DON’T END IT.

Faithfully your friend,

Thandi

Download the  PDF file on the following categories.

  • If you are being bullied
  • If your friend is being bullied
  • If you’ve been called a bully

 What is Bullying?

Bullying can take place anywhere and comes in many different forms — from spreading rumors, to posting inappropriate photos, to threatening someone. It’s being mean or hurtful in a way that scares or upsets someone else.

Whether you’re being bullied, have a friend who’s being bullied, or have been accused of bullying someone else, remember that there’s help available. Learn about the tools on Facebook that can help you handle the problem.

 

Leadership skills 2

DON’T WORRY ABOUT BEING SUCCESSFUL –
WORK TOWARD BEING SIGNIFICANT.

Coming from a lady who is up at 4am and only goes to bed when the day’s job is done.

I look at teenagers and I am floored. They are forever “TIRED.” I have a friend who used to sleep the minute she ate her lunch (about 6 sandwiches!) She was always tired because her stomach was working overtime trying to digest the volumes of food. Some of us ganged up on her because she never participated in anything we were doing – always being tired – we encouraged her to eat less in one sitting. Soon we had a participating friend who was no longer tired all the time. (over time she lost 40 kilo’s !)

I go to a restaurant and the waiter can’t wait to tell me he’s tired. I go to a shop and the assistant is tired. I went to a Police station the other day and everyone in the charge office were sleeping!

What is significant about these people? They are insignificant in their jobs and more concerned with how tired they are than to do their jobs.
What does being significant mean? To a Teenager with an abundance of energy, it would mean that you have the potential to make an important (if not major) impact on people.

How can you start to become significant? By starting where you are, with what you have. If you are a good child to your parents, if you take care of responsibilities around the house and if you care deeply about others, YOU ARE ALREADY SIGNIFICANT.

By doing something for others, you add value to yourself by becoming more significant. In your home, start paying attention to small things. Learn to cook a meal, bake a cake, do some gardening, clean out a cupboard, mend some clothing, wash a floor or a wall. Start observing with your eyes where you can be useful.

Hear with your ears when your mum says she is tired, ask where you can help. Lying in front of the TV while the house is untidy shows that you don’t care about your surroundings. Soon you will extend yourself past your front door.

If you build a work ethic into your life during the teen years, you will be an asset to any company when you start working. My friend Hilda and I learned how to do pedicures professionally from someone who worked in a salon. Her mum worked at an old-age home and we decided to go and offer our services there every Saturday.

The old people really appreciated this free service and they would often give us gifts or money to show their appreciation. We were around 14 years old at the time and the manager of the home always gave us cake and tea. She was the first person to tell us that what we were doing was very ‘SIGNIFICANT.’

Remember, there is a difference in getting inspired and actually motivating oneself to get going. I find that writing down things to do eventually motivates me to do them.

Oprah was significant before she became successful, and she was successful before she became famous. It is a mindset that anyone can learn. I often read the earlier ‘O magazines’ which I have kept because the articles are so encouraging and inspiring. One story stands out about her giving away some 14 cars at a single event. The recipients were all women (both black and white) and I like that about her – the fact that she is totally colour-blind.

You never know when someone of another race may extend a hand to you when you need it. We are GIRLS of all colours and we need each other.

Here is to your great significance princesses!
Till tomorrow.

Faithfully your friend,
Thandi

Leadership skills

BREAK THE SPELL OF SELF-LIMITING, NEGATIVE THINKING.

IT IS STEALING YOUR LIFE AND KEEPING YOU INSIGNIFICANT.

I want to assure you that we all have random thinking going on in our headall the time and many of these thoughts are negative and self-limiting. The mind seems programmed to entertain negativity as a means of self-preservation, constantly keeping you in fear or on the edge. This is “THE THIEF.” It steals your joy by keeping you just that little bit insecure, that little bit self-protective, that little bit doubtful and it all adds up little by little (without you being aware of it) to bring you to the state of INACTIVITY.

It is trying to protect you from failure so it cleverly promotes “Fear of failure” which is one of the biggest reasons why we have so few role models or leaders. The thief will assert that you are not good enough or strong enough or clever enough or competitive enough and that you should rather not get involved because you may fail.

CATCH THIS THIEF IN THE ACT

Become aware of your thoughts every 30 minutes or so. Ask yourself “what have I been thinking about for the past half hour. You will be surprised what you discover when you turn off the autopilot and become conscious of your background thoughts. Write down what you were thinking about so that you can identify when your mind takes you on a negative journey – AND STOP IT THERE AND THEN. It takes a while to retrain your mind by gently, but firmly steering your thoughts to something less destructive.

 The thoughts that randomly run through your mind and which asserts itself when you are hardly aware of them, may cause your body to respond bytensing up, or you may just feel uneasy about something. Training your mind to become “present” every now and then seems the easiest way to identify and deal with negative states. Find out what is causing this state, the thoughts or feelings that says, “I am anxious,” “I am scared,” “I am mad,” “I am in so much pain,” “I’m so jealous of…..,” I’m so disillusioned at….,”

Deliberately snap yourself out of that dark dream that is trying to weave itself into your identity.  Don’t be drawn into any of the thief’s justifications why you should hang on to the fear, the anger, the hatred and the insecurity, reach instead for the shelter of the present moment. Then, while knowing that this negative state is present and pressing you to identify with its little life, work as consciously as you can to drop everything in that negative declaration except for the awareness of “I am here right now.”

In other words, let go of any dark definition of yourself about to be draped over you.Allow your newly awakened state to give you its identity. Give yourself at least three reasons to change your thoughts to happier and positive ones that will boost your self-esteem rather than killing it. The thief does not want you to catch onto its little game because it likes to control you with its dark thoughts and feelings of doom and uncertainties. Don’t give it power by allowing it to roam in your head. It is self-sabotage to allow it to continue keeping you in fear or uncertainty and it will keep you inactive for as long as you allow it.

The habitual dark states that have been misguiding us up to now will not give up their place at the steering wheel of our mind without struggle. You have to make the effort to start steering your own thoughts and choose to replace this negativity with positive input. It takes a bit of training but, whatever you do, do not remain captive to the thief and its dark little kingdom. Get your mind into the “NOW” moment, this moment and think better and kinder thoughts – about yourself, your situation, your emotions.

“NOW” is the only moment that is real, not the past, not the future – only this moment.

If you want to make good somewhere but fear and inactivity has been holding you back, you will find this article useful. Ultimately, we are responsible for stripping the reasons for our unwillingness or fear to step out and become SIGNIFICANT.

Faithfully your friend,

Thandi