Leadership clubs

FINDING THANDI. Our exciting introduction to leadership – BEING A ROLE MODEL

One of the topics we are introducing is FINDING THANDI – and establishing “GIRL CLUBS” in every school (or community).

Who exactly is Thandi? What can she do? How do I know if I am a Thandi?

Thandi means love (of people). She is a leader and she is YOU.

Finding a Thandi in your school (or being a Thandi in your school) is easy. To become a leader is something that you can learn. You really can train your mind in almost all aspects of leadership, IF YOU ARE UP TO THE CHALLENGE.

1) Are you able to give a bit of your time once a week?

2) Are you able to talk to a group of girls if it means helping them?

3) Are you willing to share knowledge with girls who are younger than you?

4) Do you believe that girls can excel with the right guidance?

6) Do you believe that girls should unite in order to help protect, uplift and empower each other?

7) Can you identify with the power of “connection” in a common cause?

8) Would you like to see girls unite to erase stigma and replace it with pride?

9) Would you be willing to give sound advice and be a role model in your own daily actions and behaviour?

10) Would you be able to openly discuss difficult issues such as – Drugs, dating, intimacy, teen pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, gender violence, etc? (depending on the age groups.)


Our girls are in trouble !

  1. Teen pregnancies are out of control in a country where poverty is huge. The abilitiy to feed, clothe and raise a child soon becomes a nightmare to teenage parents due to high unemployment and retrenchements .
  2. The number of people becoming addicted to drugs is almost as high as the current HIV infected numbers – both are becoming pandemic. The druglords are having a field day among the youth because they are easy targets. WHY? Because they are young, vulnerable, gullible and want to belong – which is exactly what the drug lords are looking for. They do not care if you have money to pay for drugs or not. They will give you drugs for free until you are hooked and then push you into prostitution to pay for your drugs. It is any girls worst fear, yet an estimated 14 million girls are being trafficked by drug and prostitution cyndicates globally. (22 million people in total – 2016 statistics).
  3. Sexually transmitted diseases – there are several with the main one still being the HIV virus. According to the Department of Health, the highest increase in the spread of this deadly virus is among the youth -14 to 19 (and 20 to 25) age group. These are just some of  the areas of grave concern where we need to educate others and warn them of the dangers.

Email us at    =     thandi@bloomingtime.co.za

We will ensure you have assistance in becoming a role model and help you set up your club. If you are in the Johannesburg area, I may be able to come and do a talk at your school with you.

Faithfully your friend,



Every girl deserves a champion,

Someone who will never give up on them;

Thandi is that champion.



As you read through the course material, the words “I can’t” and “I am not like that” will pop up in your mind frequently. Write these thoughts on a separate page to the rest of your notes. Do not pay these negatives deeper attention until you have gone through the course, by which time you will be able to see through the limiting self-belief systems you have been nurturing. No one becomes a leader if they feel they have no ability to lead. However, it is a skill-set anyone can learn and everyone has the potential. Give yourself some credit, there is a lot you are already capable of.



Humans learn from observing others. The more we understand how and why role models influence us, the better we can support younger people in their journeys through puberty. The key, I discovered, is that good role models are other-focussed as opposed to self-focussed. They do not see social barriers or obstacles, only opportunities to make a difference.

If you have been influenced by heroes, you would want to become a hero. Positive role models have attributes that most influence and inspire others to be their best selves. Heroes tend to be passionate about most things and will find a way to meet the needs of others. They live their values in the world and are the advocates of social change ranging from issues of poverty to issues of environment. They are most likely to start projects to the benefit of others and, like in the comic books, their mission is to fight oppressive villains. It is always about good over evil.

The followers of a hero would have a stronger motivation with higher goals to develop to their full potential, to be respected, to become successful and see measureable growth. They have a growth mind-set. They genuinely care for others and will take the initiative to help someone. They are usually keen to teach skills they have learnt if it can benefit someone else. They are usually active and highly respected in their communities and will always find time to lend a hand somewhere or offer useful advice.

 Villains are also role models but they have an avoidance (or dodging) mind-set.  They may cheat on a test paper for fear of failure (their biggest fear) yet they think themselves too tough or badass to do menial things like studying for a test instead. They love material things but because they are schemers, they would rather steal something or swindle someone than to obtain it honestly.They are least likely to start projects to the benefit of others as they tend to be self-centred and therefore ruled by selfish motives. Both the hero and the villain are role models, leaders even, and the curious part is that both types attract followers.

The followers of a villain would be the more gullible, or have a dodging mind-set themselves. They also tend to suffer low self-esteem which makes them easier to be manipulated, especially in the drug world. The followers of a villain enjoy being in a gang where they have backup. This inflates their egos, but not their self-respect.  Villains enjoy motivating their gangs toward unhealthy behaviours such as bunking school, bullying, taking drugs or committing crimes. Who you follow would depend on your personal level of self-respect.  Do you need your morale pumped up by those who want to use you or do you have a healthy image of your own dignity and worth?


When I started on this topic I really struggled for the correct words to explain why leadership and being a role model comes so easily to some and others have to learn it. In speaking to a group of girls, most of their decisions were made based on what they FELT, their intuition or 6th sense. Girls seem to have this sewn into the pit of their stomachs as we “sense” someone’s intentions in our physical bodies before the thoughts arrive in our heads. We tend to feel uneasy and if we do not act on that feeling and try and ignore what had prompted it, we usually regret it afterwards. How many times have you heard people say things like; “I had a bad feeling about it, I should have paid attention to that feeling.” Or “when I met him, I felt uneasy but I went with him anyway.”

When I asked the guys why making decisions comes easily to some while others had to learn it, they said it was partly the influence of the men in their environment (Dads and uncles) but mostly they would make decisions based on common sense. Do girls make things more complicated than guys I wondered? Do girls feel more insecure about making hasty decisions? Do guys also have this thing we call intuition? Yes, they do but they do not tend to make calculated decisions based just on a feeling. They apply a healthy measure of common sense.


If common sense is so common, how come so many people are being scammed out of their money? How many girls get caught in the net of smooth operators who use them, abuse them or worse, murder them? How many guys end up in jail because they were gullible? NO, common sense isn’t common at all. Like everything else, it is an acquired skill. It comes from reading up on many issues and debating these issues with others. It comes from finding facts and expanding your knowledge.

The word common sense means (or implies)“your basic awareness,” to understand and judge things as they are presented to you. If your awareness is always asleep instead of observing what is going on around you, you cannot raise your awareness levels. If you break your leg, common sense will tell you to find a Doctor, but not everything is always that painfully obvious. There are a lot of grey areas. Common sense will prevent you from falling prey to scams and unscrupulous people. To gain common sense simply requires you to be fully awake and pay attention to the details in everything, all the time.

Should you witness an accident, for example, you would need as much detail as possible to assist the police. Learning how to be fully “in the present moment” will keep you alert and focussed. Pretend everything is an accident scene and look for the detail. Become a detective to master this skill.


ROLE MODELS are people who have developed certain qualities which others admire.Your qualities would be your nature (your essence) like being observant, helpful, kind, mindful of others, a good person, and have integrity (honour).To become a role model, your own qualities need to be developed until it becomes part of your character. Your character is made up by your individuality, personality, temperament, humour and reputation.

You already possess some of these as part of your upbringing and this course can help you affirm those good qualities. The thing to remember is that your character is built consciously (being aware) and conscientiously (being diligent).

A role model would be curious – as in being interested in others.

A role model would be sensitive to the needs of others at a social level (to have empathy).

A role model would be resourceful – and have a clear sense of what is important.

A role model would have an approachable attitude – and listening skills.

A role model would have motivation to become engaged citizens – not spectators.

A role model has commitment – to their community.

A role model is a self-starter – and self-reliant.

A role model decides what is‘acceptable behaviour’ – and what is not.

A role model has a sense of self-worth – and self-respect.

A role model is inspirational – anyone can inspire a child to achieve their potential in life.

You can add to this list whatever you perceive to be beneficial to become a role model.


“Finding Thandi” – Our school outreach programme is intended to build a platform for teen champions to guide those younger than them through puberty, and to help them reach their full potential. The first step to becoming a powerful leader is to learn all that you can from wherever you can. Google becomes a good friend, but be careful that you follow good guidelines. The idea about the internet is to use it to your advantage, not to get confused by conflicting ideas.

Faithfully your friend,